News Simple.

I don't like to news blog, but a couple stories caught my eye. Let's dig in.

HEADLINE! Fat Fuck Gets Off!

No, unfortunately this is not a story about an internet porno download going exactly as planned. Apparently an Outagamie county jury threw an impromptu party in the ass of justice by acquitting a drunk driver who struck and paralyzed a young woman.

The young woman, Tiffany Pohl, now a quadriplegic, was not present for the announcement of the verdict.

The acquittal seems a direct result of shoddy police work. Despite the lack of expertise they seem to display in matters of investigation, I can attest that the Police of Appleton and Outagamie County are expert ticket writers and always respond to citizen calls with the mild enthusiasm one expects from dilettantes.

Citizens of the Fox Valley please note: Randall Ashauer is buying the drinks and toasting the police.

***Update***
04/13/09

Tiffany Pohl has entered into a defamation lawsuit with a Combined Locks man over a comment made on her get well website. Click here for the story.


HEADLINE! Brett Favre Finally Retires!

Let's all take a moment to mourn his passing.



HA!

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