Gentlemen Broncos: Bullet Point Review

Gentlemen Broncos is a movie that you should not watch. That’s why I’ve invented this new type of review. As Red Letter Media has proven, there’s market for extremely long form reviews of bad movies. I think there’s room on the other side of the spectrum. So here for your enjoyment is a bullet point review of Gentlemen Broncos.

The long and the boring of it.

• It’s a fairly thin allegory about the journey of an artist to, on his own terms, transform his sentiment into an appreciated object of art. In other words, the theme is both boring and too specific to be appreciated.

• It’s weird for the sake of being weird. The vaguely fantastical nature of the world of the story attempts to parallel the fantastic nature of the protagonist’s novel. It’s annoying.

• The end is so predictable and trite, it isn’t worth the journey. Also, the ending qualifies as deus ex machina. If you’re not familiar with the phrase, it’s a hallmark of poor storytelling. And that’s pretty terrible in a film that’s ostensibly about storytelling.

Lies people will tell to trick you.

• The artificial weirdness of the film makes it “outsider”, and some people give a pass to everything deemed such. You’ll be asked, “Aren’t you just sick of mainstream film making?” You are, but that still does not make this movie watchable.

• “There’s some funny moments.” Sure there is, but would you eat a giant steak if you were told you’d enjoy two bites of it?“

• It’s not so much about a strictly defined ‘narrative’. It’s more of a pastiche of and homage to a particular genre.” No. It’s a collection of half ideas that didn’t make it into the director’s previous two films.
  
  If you’re looking to feel that special combination of frustration, boredom, and regret usually reserved for airline delays, this film is for you.